Did I Miss The Gun?


Four days into NaNo and I’m still at the starting gate. I got in my first 1,000 words and since then…nothing.

It’s not that I’m uninspired by the story I chose. On the contrary, I’m excited to rip into something a little different from what I’ve done the last several years (although I must admit this book has some similarities to Ascension, the first book I published. I was almost tempted to set it in that same world at one point). No, I believe my lack of forward momentum can be attributed to one (or all) of the things below:

Times They Are A’changin‘: my schedule at work recently underwent a drastic change due to someone leaving. While I’m filling in (and if I end up eventually getting that job), I know longer have a lunch period. Which is, unfortunately, when I was able to get the vast majority of my writing done. It was a dedicated hour per day where I could don my earbuds and (hopefully) tune out the world. Losing that means I’ll have to write at home, which has plenty of….

Distract–ooh, shiny!: how do you cat lovers out there write at home? I know the sound of my computer chair is like a summoning bell for all things furry at my place. And even when they eventually tire of my lap, I still have a budding music studio begging for attention, plus the Internet, games….

Here/Not Here: okay this excuse may all be in my head…or maybe it’s not. That’s the point. I recently started taking Prozac to help with my anxiety. While I can’t be sure it’s helping (or hurting, for that matter), I have found I’ve been extremely fatigued lately. But then again, I started using a (defective) cpap machine at the same time and switched my schedule around. 

So I’m not sure what exactly is to blame for my tiredness. I am worried the Prozac is taking my creative edge off. Normally, I spend my free time running through plot points, character interactions, action pieces, etc. I listen to music and play the scenes out in my mind, letting the emotions take me where they will. That way, when I sit down to write, I will have felt out the scene already.

Lately, I’ve felt… Nothing. I can think of plots and specific beats I need to hit, flesh out characters’ backgrounds, but I don’t feel any of it. Now, this could certainly be attributed to the fact this is a new story with new characters, but I’ve been working on this book in my head for a few years now. And a few weeks ago, I was raring to go on it. Ideas were pouring in and I was excited. Right now…not so much. Maybe the pill is an easy thing to blame, but whatever the reason, my heart isn’t in it right now.

All Signs Point To: of course, the most obvious answer is that I’m just being a lazy ass. I love writing but when under the gun, it changes from a helpful creative outlet to work. And right now, I’m already working my ass off. I’ve been pulling ten and eleven hour days plus working a few hours on my day off. Makes the notion of staring at a computer screen for a few more hours at home not so appealing.

So there’s my list of excuses for why I’m lagging on day four. I suppose I could’ve taken this time to write more on my chapter, but it’s hard to type a novel out on your phone. Just because I’m dropping excuses however, don’t think I’ve given up. I’m determined to cross the finish line this year.

At least I’ve been keeping up on this blog.

Thanks for reading,

S.L. Madden

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